Culture Relationship Advice

Hiding In My Tower

Question: Dear Dr. Bousa,

I was forced to marry a man when I was 20 years old. Our marriage was brief and I’ve been divorced for 15 years. Over the years, many men have come forward from my community. However, I’m never really attracted to these men and find them incompatible. Also, these men seemed unstable on a psychological level. Now I’ve always been of the mindset that I can’t marry just for the sake of getting married and therefore, I’m still single. Understand that I never had a partner my entire adult life. I’ve never had a boyfriend. But I’m so lonely. I recently decided to take a more proactive approach by trying to meet men online. This has mostly been unsuccessful. Although I am confident, open and honest, I find that men still want to play games. I’m a woman who lives her life on strong values and morals and wish to find someone who is similar in nature. Am I doing something wrong?

Dr. Bousa: Dear Friend,

Thank you for writing in. I’m so sorry to hear that you have spent most of your life alone, without romantic companionship. I don’t want to make you feel worse than you already feel, but you’re probably missing out on some major parts of life and the human experience. Love is such a core part of our experience in our brief time on Earth. The good news is that you’re still young and have time to find a great love. The bad news is that you have…

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