08 Jan, 2010
Do Your Friends Hate Your Boyfriend?
By: ArabLounge Staff
Good friends are there for everything in your life. They drive you to be better, make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself, have fun, and most importantly, look out for you.
That’s why, when they don’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend, it can raise a lot of problems. Animosity between your partner and your group of friends or a friend can become heated and often puts you in the uncomfortable position of being stuck in the middle.
It’s hard to choose between those who are only supposed to have your best interests at heart and the person who you are sharing your life with. Sniping back and forth, resentment, and awkward silences can put the kibosh or strain a relationship to its breaking point.
Here are some things you can do to figure out a civil way of keeping both your friends and your loved one from not tearing each other apart and trying to get them to get along:
1) First, find out WHY they don’t like each other: Do your friends often not like your significant other or is it just this particular one? To most people, friends are an integral part of their lives, as are their partners. When they don’t get along, it can become a stressful part of your life, one where you feel stretched beyond your limits.
If your friends are concerned about your safety or insist that this person is simply not good for you, then take a good, hard look at what they are saying and process it. What they say isn’t the final word: only you can decide that. But if they are genuinely concerned for you, take this into account and realize that they may be seeing something where you don’t.
2) Try to get everyone together for something fun: Is there a hobby that your partner and your friends share in common? What about group activities that can help bring people together?
Paintball, laser tag, bowling, or basically any physical activity that can really help bond people, is a great idea. Board games are also fun and bring out the competitive side for almost everyone. Teaming up against each other or putting your friends and your loved one on the same team can help them loosen up and just have fun around each other.
3) Spend equal time with both: If your loved one feels you spend all your time with your friends, or vice versa, it can cause a lot of strain, and jeopardize the relationships you’ve built over time. Make sure you have a girls or a guys night out for just your friends, and certain time period to just spend alone with your sweetheart.
Whenever possible, try to have outings with both your friends and your loved one, so you can get each accustomed to the other. It also lets both parties know that they are equally important to you, and want them to get along.
4) Talk to Them: See what you can do to make them all get along. Is there a specific thing they don’t like about the other? Can that be fixed? If it can’t, it’s up to you to figure out what to do. If you think it’s possible they can have a civil, if not friendly, relationship, then so be it.
Not everyone has to get along all the time. Let them know that they are all very important to you, and you will try to make it work. In the end, it’s what you think you can handle, and what’s best for you. Figuring this out can take a long time, and remember that your friends often are right about something before you even realize it.