That moment–that overbearing silence filled with anger and frustration—is the lull right after a particularly nasty fight.
There were things said you hadn’t meant to say, accusations thrown about and cruel utterances that you didn’t even know you wanted to say.
However bad the fight was, you still know you love the person, and that’s why the fight hurts so much more. You want to make up and let bygones be bygones, but how?
Many Arab couples will find out that every big fight is not the end of their relationship. In fact, fighting occasionally or disagreeing with each other is normal and conducive to a healthy relationship.
However, letting that fight get the best of you and not being able to extend an olive branch will definitely affect your relationship. That’s why making up the right way is so essential.
Here are some tips on how to make up and learn from your fights:
1) Acknowledge what happened: Ignoring the fact that there was a fight at all and pretending to go about your business like it never happened, will not help.
It will most likely just agitate your partner and alienate them from you.
Instead, acknowledge the issue you were disagreeing about, but say that you want to resolve it logically and move on.
2) Be extra sweet: Offer them the last cookie, hold the door open for them, make them a special treat; anything to make them feel good and let them know you’re sorry for the way the fight turned out, but that you want to make amends.
3) Get out of the house: Take a walk together, suggest a nice, relaxing drive, hike up a mountain, or go to a nice restaurant.
Just as long as you get out of the house and away from the place where the fight was, it’s good to have a change of scenery.
It will give you some time to not only get some fresh air, but have a place where you can hopefully preoccupy your mind.
Try talking about other things and making yourself busy with them. You’ll get your mind off the issue and back on to enjoying each other’s company.
4) Tell them you understand: Letting them know you understand where they’re coming from will be half the battle.
Stepping into their shoes and seeing it from their perspective will give you new insight into why there was a fight at all, and will help you genuinely reach out to them and make up.
5) Let it happen organically: Eventually, you will be tired of being mad at each other, and you will just naturally forgive each other for the things that were said.
Don’t hold any grudges and learn to let things go. If you still have an issue with something, bring it up, and don’t bottle it inside.
If you do, it’ll stay in there until the most inopportune moment and blast out unknowingly. Communicate and let things happen as they may. Understanding that everyone fights is essential; making up—even more so.