Most Arab parents would be delighted to hear that you’re ready to settle down and get married. Of course, many of them also assume that when you mean you’re ready, they will have the say in who it is you marry.
Nowadays, however, it’s more and more up to the children to decide exactly who it is they want to marry and up to them to find their spouse.
If you’ve already got someone who you want to get married to, it can be especially hard to tell Arab parents that yes, I’m ready, and yes, I’ve already got someone.
It opens up a whole can of worms in regards to the fact that you’ve been seeing or talking to someone without their knowledge or consent.
However, if the person comes from a good family, is a good person and seems to be on the same page as you, it shouldn’t really matter.
Yet, reality has a way of catching up to us all and not working out exactly the way we had planned.
So how does one approach their parents and let them know they’re ready to get married without them freaking out?
Here are a few ways to ease your way into the conversation:
1) Drop lots of hints: Mothers more than fathers will pick up on these pretty quickly, so it’s best to approach your mother first.
Let her know you’ve been thinking it’d be nice to settle down, and whenever you have the opportunity, just drop some hints about your future.
Once your mom has gotten the hint, she’ll probably alert your dad and it wont be as much of a surprise once you do approach them.
2) Give them some time to mull over what you’ve said: Once you drop the bomb, let them think about what you’ve said and where your future is headed.
Let them talk it over among themselves and give them some time to get their heads together. They’ll be much more level-headed after a few days and understanding as well.
3) Be honest and let them in: Tell them exactly why you think the person you have in mind is the right person for you.
Let them in and explain to them why this would be a good match and if they agree, have them meet your family.
Most of the time, parents just need to see what it is that you see, so that they feel comfortable with the arrangement and satisfied that you’re happy.
Include them as much as you can in this decision and reiterate how much their happiness is as important to you, too.
4) Remind them of the obvious: You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions, and have every right to marry the person you see fit.
However, you wont truly be happy until your family is happy as well. Remind them that while this is your decision, you want their blessing and support on your way forward. It truly makes a huge difference.