The fighting, the stony silences, cold shoulders, and the constant berating. When a relationship is in the midst of a crisis, it can spell disaster for other aspects of your life, too.
If your relationship is in the dumps, it’s likely that it’s affecting your performance in other aspects of your life, as well. That’s why when things aren’t going well, taking a break is a great option to just recharge yourselves and focus on yourself.
So when do you know if you need to spend time apart? There’s no magic formula, but there are some warning signs that should be a red flag:
1) You fight way too much: OK, this is pretty obvious, but if you’re constantly fighting, it’s time for a break. But what exactly is “too much?” If it’s every day or every other day, if the littlest things can set you off, or if you just feel like there are more shouting matches than there are pleasant conversations, you’re fighting too much.
2) You’d rather spend more time with your friends: If your friends seem more exciting and fun to be with, that’s a huge red flag. Of course, wanting to spend time with your friends and away from your significant other is normal and should be encouraged.
Yet, if you’re at the point when you’d rather spend all your free time with them rather than with your sweetheart, then there’s a problem. Ask yourself why you find your friends more fun to be around? Do you feel miserable or insecure around your sweetheart? If so, it’s time for a break.
3) You complain about each other to other people: There is little that’s more uncomfortable than listening to your friend go on and on about their boyfriend or girlfriend’s faults. It puts people in an awkward position and often gives them only one side of your relationship—the bad side. It undermines the stability behind the relationship and let’s face it, no one likes a whiner.
4) Jealousy: If it’s gotten to the point where you have to ask permission to go anywhere or see anyone, then there’s something wrong. Jealousy is all about controlling the other person. If you feel trapped, a break might be the best thing for your sanity.
5) You have no time for each other: Neglecting someone, even if inadvertently, is never going to turn out well. If you have no time for someone, (whether it’s because of family issues, work, school, or anything else,) then it’s only fair to them and to yourself to take some time off from each other and get yourself together.
If you just have too much going on, keeping someone waiting and being in their lives sporadically at best is a recipe for failure. If in the future, you have more time, then you can always reconnect, but neglecting someone will usually leave them resenting you and your impossible schedule.